These materials were used in "A support group for people healing from spiritual abuse".

Presentation date: September 8, 2022

Presenter: Dr. Jenny Switkes 

Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse

Warning signs that I see now:

I didn’t see the warning signs… until I saw the warning signs everywhere!

Why is it often very difficult to see the warning signs?

Some indicators of healthy organizations:

Let’s brainstorm together during the Discussion time.

Resource recommendation: 

Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church, by Diane Langberg.

Summary prepared by: Jenny Switkes

In early September, Hearts Set Free held its first meeting, by Zoom. There were seven participants in attendance, from Japan as well as several U.S. states, along with Yumi Ikeda’s co-leader Jenny Switkes. Many of the participants have experienced spiritual abuse. Other participants attended to learn about the dynamics of spiritual abuse.

Co-leader Jenny Switkes shared her story of spiritual abuse that she experienced from a senior pastor and his wife. Jenny is a bivocational pastor, and several years ago she was part of a new church (a church plant). It was in the context of the church plant that the abuse of power became severe enough that she left. Her story ends on a hopeful note, as she is now serving as a bivocational associate pastor at a healthy church where she is welcomed and respected.

The topic of the session was “Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse.” Jenny shared that, during her experience of abuse, she did not see the warning signs… until she saw them everywhere. Looking back on her experience, she sees these warning signs:

• Many lies were told, about the number of people, dollars raised, etc.
• The senior pastor and his wife were larger than life, and it was a false appearance.
• The senior pastor always positioned himself as the expert in the room.

Jenny reflected on why it was difficult for her to see the warning signs for quite a long time.

• The senior pastor and his wife had an attractive personality and a beautiful family. 
• At the beginning, the senior pastor showed Jenny attention and affirmed her calling.
• The senior pastor and his wife cast a vision of significance.

Jenny shared that she so much wanted all of this to be true… but it was not. Now, Jenny values indicators of healthy organizations, such as these:

• The leader is willing to apologize, and regularly does so when needed.
• The leader is not focused on his or her own promotion, but wants others to succeed.
• The leader does not view himself or herself as essential, but is focused on serving.

After Jenny presented, there was a meaningful time in which the participants asked questions and shared from their own reflections and experiences. One participant brought up two warning signs present in Jenny’s story that Jenny had not noticed. Another participant impacted Jenny with his humility and attentiveness in understanding the experience of spiritual abuse. Every participant brought a depth of insight and empathy to the session.

Hearts Set Free meets again in early October. Yumi Ikeda will share her story, with a focus on “What are the clues to recover? Where am I still stuck?” This first cohort group of Hearts Set Free will remain open to new participants until after the October meeting.